Down the Drain

I am quite drained today - emotionally, psychologically, mentally... I just can't think straight. And whatever decisions I made, it was always wrong. And these past few days, I wanted to stop blogging. But I had to, it's where I sometimes earn. I don't know why I felt this way. I just want to shun away from everything. People might see me active in some social network but I just go there to check some important messages. But still got stuck when I see my names mentioned and I've to acknowledge it.

I guess I'm feeling down again. I've been thinking so much that it's not helping me. I hate it when I feel so negative on so many things. I ended up blaming myself, hating myself and I guess I'm good for nothing..sigh. If not for my kids, I guess I'll get lost. I've been saying a lot that if not for them, it seems my life has no meaning... Darn, I don't like it when I feel this way. I know there's a reason why I am here today and I'll try my best to better myself each day but why can't I think anything good about myself? I feel like I created a mess and I had a hard time mending it...

My Blog Looks Okay...

I am so glad to see this blog again. I did not blog for the past weeks for this reason. Yeah, my blog looked weird at that time that no matter what I do, it can't be fixed. I think one of my entries made it look like that but when that certain entry was fixed, voila, so is my template (",)

Another thing, I seem not to have opps in this blog recently...hmmm.. I wonder why. I used to earn here but lately there was no offer. But I don't want to delete this for I came to love this blog already. This is where I pour my heart out. It's my secret abode ;-) It's my sanctuary...

Well, I guess I'll just be patient and blog whatever I feel like blogging. I made this for personal reasons anyways.

Oh, I've just noticed that my list of blogger friends are missing. Darn! I've to retrieve all of them and if your name did not appear, please do inform me so that I can add you...

Something's Wrong With My Blog...

When I checked this blog this morning, I thought it was just my PC who was making my blog looked different. But now that I am using my laptop, I can really say that something's wrong with the layout of my blog? Dunno what happen. I just don't understand that what I placed in my right sidebar is now found at the bottom of my blog. I did not even change the settings... I thought of changing the theme but what I found won't fit on my blog's theme..

I still love my template but sometimes, it's nice to explore and try other things. If I can't figure out what's wrong with this blog, I guess I'll be force to change the layout or theme....

Leave Some Privacy

Just visited my Facebook account. I love this social network as I can reach out and search for my long lost friends..and they can find me there, too. It's nice to update one another and where we are right now. For some, they made it as their venue for business. Hmmm, quite risky for me to do it. Perhaps one of these days, there will be tax payment online..

But what I don't like to see in Facebook is when people use it to bicker or backbite others. I can't help but read it as it is the first thing I see everytime I opened my account. And what I hated the most is when a couple announced their dirty linens at home. Should they make it more private? Should they really share it for everybody to read and comment? That's why I don't waste my time leaving comments on their shoutouts because I find it so obnoxious and intruding and I don't want to side with anybody. I just hope these people leave some privacy on their lives. What they do is just telling everybody what kind of person they are. It reflects their personality. I guess it's really better for them to just keep quite and leave some reservations for themselves.

I Won't Be There

I just hope some people will be a little bit sensitive. You see, I value friendship and whatever that is entrusted to me will be treasured always. I always offer my ear when they wanted something to tell me. In short, I'm ready to help. The only thing that I cannot give right away is when it comes to money matters unless I have some because I don't have that much.

What I'm telling here actually is when it's my turn to ask for a person's time to hear my woes, I can't find them. Or, it turned out that they are on their own, minding their world. Worst, they've done things that I am not included. That, I despised and I always think of a payback time. I've helped some of them, even wasting my time to help them and look for ways that they won't be in so much trouble anymore. Now, I've learned several things. I plan to play it safe next time. Perhaps I'll mind my own business without including those people who are taking my advantage. I am this sensitive and I hope those people will get what they deserve next time. And if worst will come to them, I won't be there.

Sleeping Is The Key

I woke up very early today but I feel energized. Unlike yesterday where I was so tired and felt so lifeless. I've been pondering over many things lately and sometimes, you thought of so many lowest point in your life that it bothers you a lot. Thankfully, last night, I've tried not to dwell on the negative things. Sleeping early was the key, too, as it help in washing or blocking away the painful memory. Now, as I woke up, I felt no such heavy baggage. I am looking forward for a positive thing as the day rises until I go to sleep again...