Wednesday Blues...

I'm in one of my moods again today. I was in deep reflection earlier today and can't help but pity myself a little. I know I chose the path where I am and where I stand today. If I want to change the course of my direction, I know it's up to me to direct the sail. I should not rely to others or rely on prayers to be answered unless I do something to make it happen. Problem is, I can't do it. I guess I am too weak to do it. And there's always something that holds me back - my kids, my family. They are my main reason that I can't do things I wish to do right away. There are so many dreams, plans and hopes that I wish could happen to me but deep inside me, my heart knows who should come first. I guess, perhaps, this is the reason I can't attain the goal that I tried to achieve. So I guess I will sacrifice myself to prioritize my family. I will sacrifice my profession, my plans and goals to be with my family. I have to admit I sometimes envy others, having a family with a great career. I seldom asked, 'why can't I do it also?'. However, life is different for me and to others. Now, I tried my best not to look at other people's success or life because I also don't know about the problems they encounter. The best thing for me to do now is to accept, be content and perhaps love myself...