Down the Drain

I am quite drained today - emotionally, psychologically, mentally... I just can't think straight. And whatever decisions I made, it was always wrong. And these past few days, I wanted to stop blogging. But I had to, it's where I sometimes earn. I don't know why I felt this way. I just want to shun away from everything. People might see me active in some social network but I just go there to check some important messages. But still got stuck when I see my names mentioned and I've to acknowledge it.

I guess I'm feeling down again. I've been thinking so much that it's not helping me. I hate it when I feel so negative on so many things. I ended up blaming myself, hating myself and I guess I'm good for nothing..sigh. If not for my kids, I guess I'll get lost. I've been saying a lot that if not for them, it seems my life has no meaning... Darn, I don't like it when I feel this way. I know there's a reason why I am here today and I'll try my best to better myself each day but why can't I think anything good about myself? I feel like I created a mess and I had a hard time mending it...